So we are off for a nice vacation to those places you have vaguely heard of, but are never quite sure what country they are in. Sure, Prague and Budapest are fairly easy, but what about Bratislava? Yes, we´ve heard of it, but is it Romania, Czech Republic, Slovakia or Slovenia? And are those last two really different countries? How many countries do border Hungary? Well, this trip was all about that – the ability to answer such questions, if I ever get on “Who wants to be a Millionaire?”

The first point of call was in Hungary, which is a VERY long drive from Malschenberg. It took us about 10 hours to drive the 950km to picturesque Lake Balaton (the trip totaled 2,400km). The first thing you notice entering Hungary are the place names – names like Táplánszentkereszt fly by en route. This is a country with a considerable overdose of vowels, which has serious consequences for computer keyboards, half of which are given over “extra” characters, and a total lack of Scrabble boards. We spent the first night in the first town we could pronounce - Héviz.

At least since Roman times (several sestertsi have been found in the waters) Héviz has been used as a health spa –the 5 hecter lake produces 80 million liters of poopy smelling, 40°c water every day. It was an ideal introduction to the Hungarian bathing obsession, and a rubber ring was a must, as the mineral content made buoyancy a serious problem and you were in constant danger of sinking. After a couple of hours stewing and a quick excursion to some local castles we went on to Budapest.

Over the next 3 days, we did some more bathing, visiting the Gellért and Kiràly baths, the latter of which, many people liken to bathing in a cathedral. Our experience was more like bathing in a labyrinth. Just getting to the changing rooms was an adventure and then the medieval locker system came in to play. It involved an attendant, a single key for all lockers, hieroglyphs on the locker door, cryptic symbols on a small blackboard in the locker and small metal discs. I made a mental note of the locker number just in case. Once we found the actual baths the architectural splendor shone through both figuratively and literally with an open roof and glorious surroundings. This contrasted acutely with the Kiràly (Turkish) Baths. These were built in 1570 and most of the bathers seemed to have been lolling in the water since its inception. Its claim to fame is the huge skylit dome that dominates the main pool, but it was still pretty dark and somehow a bit seedy.

The next morning a tour round the incredible Parliament building was first on the agenda. After waiting in line for over an hour, we were given free admittance thanks to an EU passport, and led in to a spectacular blend of architectural styles. The entire building is mirrored around a central axis and has over 700 rooms decorated with 42 kilogram of gold leaf. The tour “highlight” is the rather drab Crown of St. Stephen, the nation’s most important national icon, which was dropped at some point so has a wonky cross on the top and nobody’s bothered to straighten it.

Next was a stroll down communism lane, with a visit to the “House to Terror” the ex-secret service head quarters (where 30 years of suppression were graphically portrayed) and a visit to the Statue Museum, where all old busts of Lenin and other party members come to rest. Talk about propaganda, but it made for some interesting photos.

Following on visits to castle hill, churches, operas and some great meals, we headed off up the Danube in the direction of Slovakia and the capital Bratislava. The guidebook we were using for Slovakia was rather thin and the “highlights” section on Bratislava was somewhat sketchy to say the least. A pretty town, with lots of old buildings, some nice castles and statues with a very young population - this just about covers Bratislava. It was almost the total contents of the guidebook anyway, and after a more-than-ample day, we moved on to Prague.

Prague endeared itself to us immediately. Any city that models its subway station decoration on Dr. Who’s arch nemesis the Daleks has to be respected (even though the subway ticketing machines are archaic). But it just kept getting better (Prague that is, not the ticketing machines). Stepping out in the middle of the old town your jaw just drops at the splendor and flair this town has to offer – no wonder it is considered to be the most beautiful city in Europe and is now the 6th most popular European tourist destination.

Round every corner peeks architectural delights and amazing views as well as about half a million other tourists. This is epitomized on the Charles Bridge with its views of the castle and old town, where you are seriously hindered by the sea of camera wielding sightseers trying to get the best shot of anything that doesn’t move and hoards of pickpockets who mingle with the crowd and hoards of pickpockets who mingle with the crowd.

Each building in Prague seems to try and outdo its neighbours, adding turrets, statues, stucco, colour and art deco spender, seeming regardless of the era it was built. Highlights through the ages start at the magnificent St. Vitus catherdral and the castle area, various museums, the art deco Municipal House up to the ultra modern Frank Gehry “Fred and Ginger” building. You could spend weeks here and never get bored, sadly we were limited to 3 days and then drove though the first rain we had seen back to Germany.

The whole trip was excellent, a real eye opener to growth engine of Europe. OK, they need to get a decent currency (Slovakia and the Czech Republic are already well on their way to the Euro in 2009 and 2012 respectively) – and probably need to work on their some of their marketing concepts –there were several surprises along the way (I mean who opens a sushi bar and sells chocolate éclairs with that), but all in all, overwhelming positive.
(And in answer to the question, there are 7 countries that border Hungary – can you name them?).

Clearing up the stage following my last presentation, I was approached by a charming lady who introduced herself as Kim and said how much she enjoyed it. I thanked her profusely, but then deviating from the usual script she asked “would you like to come and present that in Australia for us?” I was somewhat taken aback, “Come again?” I replied. “Australia” she confirmed, and I happily tippy-toed tout-suite to the travel agency.

The agency informed me that the “best” flights (i.e. cheapest) available were with Thai Airways “Silk Class”, with a six hour stopover in Bangkok. This is a totally unreasonable amount of time, not enough to leave the airport and go snuffling about, but long enough to make it a mind-numbing experience. However, there was a later flight which gave me twelve hours - midday to midnight, just enough time re-sample the delights of this vibrant city.

The flight arrived punctually at the brand spanking new Suvarnabhumi Airport. This airport has been the center of controversy since its opening in September 2006, as some serious corners were cut whilst building, which has resulted in some rather interesting, and unintentional, architectural features. It is unusual to have a landscaped runway, rather than the traditional (and some would say boring) flat variety, but thanks to the subsidence landing is an adventure. The only design flaws I found in this gargantuan construction was the lack of personnel in the poorly laid out immigration area, architects being unable to distinguish between “push” and “pull” on many doors and the way the rain dripped down from the roof.

But I didn’t see much more as I raced out the door, dropped my bags at the left luggage and caught the bus in to town (the planned railway link is not quite ready yet). My first stop was the back-packers haven Khao San Road, one stop shop for anything not-quite-kosher. After purchasing a few “items” it was then off for a boat-taxi ride down the mighty (and a little bit smelly) Chao Phraya River and off to Pantip Plaza, one stop shop for high tech bits and pieces.

After purchasing a few “items” there, I enjoyed some local delicious fare, straight from a wheelbarrow at a reasonable 20 Baht (€1.20). I then tried to make it back to the airport with airport bus, but Friday night is not the ideal time leave Bangkok, the traffic was horrendous, so I made a detour on the metro and caught a taxi on the outskirts of the city.

This got me to the airport with earlier than expected, but rather than amusing myself watching the antics outside a glass door where push and pull had been wrongly labeled, I toddled off to the Silk Lounge for a shower and a complimentary massage, which relaxed me nicely ready for the 9 hour flight to Sydney. Boarding the plane, there were some unusual announcements – things like “we reserve the right not to serve alcohol to intoxicated passengers” are not typical in Europe.

Arriving in Sydney, we were forced to sit in place whilst an “immigration official” came on board to assess the contamination danger posed by a puking passenger. The problem was declared “non-communicable” (alcohol poising) and we were let off (figuratively and literally). Australia is paranoid about bringing in contaminates, especially after the experiences importing cats, which have killed off most of the indigenous smaller marsupials and cane toads, which are progressing across the country and are now being gobbled up by crocodiles, who expire of cane toad poisoning shortly thereafter.

I am surprised at this caution, as Australia is already FULL of the most weird and deadly animals on the planet; spiders, snakes, not to mention what is in the water. I am forever missing a heartbeat when turning a tap in case a box-jellyfish slides out or at the prospect of doing the “under the hotel bed check” in case I find something as big as a dinner plate with 842 eyes and 37 legs is staring back at me.

Still, I am not adverse to danger and so took my limo (checking first under the seat for funnel-web spiders) to one of the nicest cities on the planet. After a quick shower and shave, and more importantly a change of underwear (it had been 32 hours), I went for a little wonder. It was kind of bizarre walking in bright sunlight (almost) as hot as a Heidelberg summer, to be greeted by signs proclaiming the “Mega Winter Sale”. Other slightly-out-of-the-ordinary experiences included watching the rats come out and play in the Sydney streets or avoiding begging seagulls outside McDonalds. I moved away rapidly in case the gulls were some sort of mutant variation what would extend their stingers, stun me and drag me off to a nest of death.

I wondered up to Circular Quay and gawped at the Harbour bridge and, of course, stood in awe of the gorgeous Opera house. The whole area is bustling and I was surprised at the considerable number of older people still alive and walking around. The sun was just setting as I arrived, which made everything glow beautifully and made me temporarily forget the lurking dangers around every corner. I also took a tour of the Opera (with a reduced rate, thanks to my new student ID card - one of the “items” from Khao San Road) and got all the history. During the tour, one quote from Frank Gehry stood out; “it is a building that changed the entire image of a country”. I agree, and certainly don’t subscribe to the “it looks like a load of mussel shells crammed in to a typewriter” school of thought.

Apropos mussels, this being one of favourite dishes, I gorged myself on them in Sydney. Good food is prevalent in Sydney, and the views from the waterside restaurants is just as spectacular.

Back at the hotel, I had a message waiting – on of my colleagues had cancelled his trip and I was asked to take his place presentíng. This meant quite a bit of extra work, but a little thing like that is not going to curtail my sight-seeing. I picked up my PC and trotted off to the Chinese Garden of Friendship to work – it is one of the most beautifully settings I have ever seen. It is an oasis in an oasis and despite them not offering student discounts, a place I visited several times, just to sit and bask in the warmth of the city.

The rest of the week went well, 5 presentations, numerous meetings, all ended very satisfactorily. For one presentation I was rewarded with an original, beautifully carved, aboriginal boomerang, for another a nice hat. Sydneyonians are delightful people and I met many old and new faces, who were a delight to work and play with. Special thanks to Karen for all the organization and chaperoning.

With the week drawing to a close, it is was back to Bangkok, a quick massage, watch the push/pull fiasco and then on to Frankfurt, this time only 27 hours in total, but then the jet-lag kicks in. It is a challenge to sleep, perchance to dream of a delightful city and its wonderful, warm people set on a blue, blue harbour.
Sweet dreams indeed.